Bridges Falling

Sexual Harassment: Now You See It. Why didn’t you before?

A black and white image of empty theater seats, curving at an angle away from the viewer

sexual harassment accusations are emptying a lot of seats

Red Flags and Shock Fatigue

Sexual harassment is bringing down a lot of people’s heroes. Not so many of mine.

The only Woody Allen movie I’ve ever managed to sit all the way through was Antz.

I feel about him the way I do about tempeh. Other people have ordered tempeh and told me, “Oh, this is the best tempeh I’ve ever had!” and I’ve tried a bite, and honestly? Tempeh tastes like rot to me, and not in a good way.

I tried to watch Annie Hall, and not very far in, something in my stomach churned, and I turned it off and watched something else. I don’t even remember at what point that happened in the movie, or what triggered it.

Sometimes very good storytellers have a skewed view of the world, and those of us who see the skew recoil from the stories. Not every well-told story is good. When the allegations against him came out, something in me breathed a sigh—not of relief, just a momentary, “Of course”— as I finally got an explanation for an instinctive recoil.

We’ve known about him for years. He keeps making movies. I keep not watching them. Will the known abusers now face consequences?

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Drinking Games as Coping Measures

So, drinking games are a super bad idea in reality, if done with alcohol, and probably literally no one should ever actually do that, because it can be actually dangerous.

THAT SAID… the concept of sussing out the tropes in advance and mentally taking a swig whenever a doozy comes up?

Is incredibly useful as a mental health technique, especially around issues of trauma and health, such as after a miscarriage, after a diagnosis, divorce, etc.

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Turkey Day Menu 2017: GF and allergy friendly

Courtesy of my sister, who is willing to adapt menus for other allergy issues. Comment here if your needs are different. 

First off, we have multiple allergies and food issues. In short:

Me; Militantly gluten free and no strawberries or sulfites due to allergies. Also allergic to crustaceans (lobster, crab, possibly shrimp?), peanuts, hazelnuts, lima beans, oats, banana, and weird issues around standard commercial dairy and eggs, but I do fine with certain local products on eggs and dairy. I also randomly have issues with tomatoes, garlic, onions, some veggies,  peppers, but there are meds I can take that help reduce inflammation to tolerate those. Some forms of garlic are better than others. I avoid most soy, refined sugar and mold-type cheeses due to inflammation issues.

My eldest: Allergic to soy, egg, dairy, peanuts and wheat.

My middle: No citric acid or citrates, reacts to wheat in weird ways, same for natamycin

Hubby has texture/taste issues (goes beyond dislike, not an allergy) with visible egg, set gelatin, and most cheese (except pizza.)

Youngest is Intensely picky.

A turkey dinner is actually one of the easiest meals to adapt.

So, within those parameters, here is our menu, according to Sis, with bullet commentary by me.

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no more shots

On to a new oral drug. lefluf something, IDK, i’m not allergic to it and it’s making me a little tired but not poisoned. And many more steroids.

I’m not going on LJ anymore. Everything’s on Dreamwidth (jenrose) and here, and I’m on Tumblr.

 

Just a little poison

Sometimes it’s really hard to write about other people’s happy times when it reminds me of when I was strong and thought I could do almost anything.

Sometimes it’s an escape, but sometimes it’s just a really rough reminder of how hard I’m struggling right now.

The true answer to “How are you” behind the cut. It ain’t pretty.

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On dealing with criticism and pattern arguments

Someone on Tumblr suggested that it was not ideal to answer criticism with “I’m a terrible person.” Someone else said, “But I say that because I feel that badly about myself.” Someone else suggested that was still manipulative and not a good thing to do.

Okay, life lesson time (or, “How to accept criticism like a rational adult and avoid pattern arguments when other people pull this nonsense.”)

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nowisthetimetwitter

image says:

NOW IS THE TIME
that we cling together * for comfort and safety
and hold each other * so that no one falls * or is lost
tell me if you’re slipping * i’ve got two hands
and a million words

 

Ice

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The world feels fragile and cold right now.

There is a slick of ice coating every blade of grass, every rose branch, the grape arbor and the wisteria vines. The tomato cages look like clear white neon tubes in a glass garden, one lonely tomato plant still green under its coating of ice.

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About the idea of the safety pin

I don’t wear a pin because I’ve never been able to sit down and shut up when someone’s being an asshole to someone around me, and people have always been comfortable asking me for help or accepting help when offered, so it doesn’t feel necessary (also my hair is purple and blue and very festive, and most people don’t look at me and assume I’m excessively conservative. My bumper stickers are also pretty freakin’ obvious already.)

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What helped with my depression?

CW: frank discussion of depression, with mentions of body dysphoria, mostly upbeat.

I was answering this question in a private message, and decided to flesh it out here in case it helps someone.

What helped with my depression, behind the cut.

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Understanding Gender: A Guide for Kids

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When a baby is born, the first thing everyone wants to know is, “Is it a boy or a girl?” Even during pregnancy, parents often have an ultrasound scan, to look at a baby’s body and find out whether their baby has “boy parts” or “girl parts” before the child is born.

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