Duct Tape Baby Carrier

So, back in 2006, in preparation for the first International Babywearing Conference, I made this:

Jenfront2006

Yes, this is a duct tape mei tai. And that’s wee Shiny at 16 months old.

Kristi

I designed it to be reversible. Kristi Hayes-Devlin of Wrapsody demonstrated it as a back carrier, with the reverse side showing.

 

sleepyshinyduct

Once I buffered Shiny’s skin with a scarf, she fell asleep. It was pretty comfy, all things considered.

 

gabiback

 

Gabi, who founded Beco, was inspired. With a pillowcase and a couple long strips of duct tape, she made a podaegi. Someone added a pair of sling rings to turn it into an onbuhimo at some point.

 

gabiside

 

It was epic. And pretty legendary. I always thought about making another duct tape carrier but never quite had sufficient motivation. A full duct tape mei tai takes about $20 of tape and 2 1/2 to 3 hours worth of work. It’s actually easier to make a carrier out of fabric. With a duct tape carrier you’re basically making the fabric, as well as the carrier.

Fast forward from August of 2006 to January of 2014. How is it possible that over 7 years have passed? And pray tell, how could *I* possibly forget ALL my baby carriers at home? Every one. My car had been cleaned out thoroughly, so no stragglers. And we were in Seattle, at a filk convention, with a rambunctious two year old who decided that running away was the new game of the moment.

I considered, briefly, hijacking a bedsheet. But I had to go to the store anyway, and thought, “You know, if after 20 years of babywearing I can’t come up with something more fun than a plain white hotel bedsheet, I’m clearly doing it wrong.”

Four rolls of duct tape and two and a half hours later, I had this:

2014ductback

flatfront

That, my dears, is a fixed-strap half mei tai, custom sized for Miles and for me. I knew I wouldn’t use it on the front, so no need to waste tape and time and effort making the top straps adjustable. I didn’t want a whole lot of bulk around his middle, and knew where the stresses and supports needed to be, so I shaped it. Made the waist band long enough to do tibetan style, knowing that every step I could take to pull the tape straps out of my armpits would add half an hour to the time I could wear this. Plus, tibetan style, I would not have to knot the duct tape straps–I just went back and forth a couple times between the two straps and the friction held everything VERY securely in place.

2014milesonback

2014ductfront

He looks a lot like his sister.

I used it all weekend, for up to a half hour or so at a time. It worked best when I wrapped a scarf (bought one with the duct tape, just in case) around his bum and my waist, drawing his weight in lower down. But even without, was quite serviceable. Not as good as a padded toddler carrier, but certainly as comfy or more comfy than the vast majority of other carriers.

20 1/2 years of babywearing.

Yep, I still got it.

 

Now, for some technical details, rules I follow, because while I am not RECOMMENDING that others try this, I know some people probably will and it would be wise for people to observe some safety guidelines.

1. No adhesive is to come in contact with baby, and should not come in contact with the wearer once the carrier is finished.

2. ALL places on the carrier must have at least 4 layers of tape, and any non-strap area must have tape running in multiple directions. I make a “sheet” of duct tape fabric by lining the tape up in one direction, then applying tape to the glue side at a different angle. I used no scissors in the making of the most recent one, but the tidiest result will happen if you make a big sheet of rough-edged double-layer “fabric” out of duct tape and then trim the edges.

3. Attention to strap safety is a must. The straps on this are four layers thick… and they are reinforced where they join the body. In fact, I applied the straps when there were two layers of duct tape to the body, and then went over the top with more layers of tape, creating one large “piece” shaped and strapped.

4. Finish edges with half-strips of tape. This will prevent tearing and keep the glue off everyone’s skin.

5. If you are planning on wearing baby on the front, DO make longer top straps and go the mei-tai route. If you are not going to use it as a front carrier, you can do fixed straps. I did this with help from my husband, tying the carrier around my waist while he held our son in place, then measuring the length of the top straps on our bodies. If you want a more SSC style carrier you’re going to need to get some side release buckles, and at that point you might as well sew the darned thing out of fabric, it will be more comfy.

6. Rulers are not needed. I used a piece of folded-over tape to measure from the front of one of his armpits, around his back, to the front of his other armpit, and then added some width for tape. I measured from the back of his neck to the front of his crotch, and from knee to knee across his bum. That set the width of top and bottom and the length of the carrier (essentially tied apron style, though that’s not how I put it on.) The bottom straps I just made “plenty long”.  The hourglass middle is a little wider than the width of his back and positioned near his hips. His legs are well enough supported. If I”d been less tired I might have shaped the body and made it a little wider in the middle.

7. The core of this is relatively inexpensive silver standard duct tape. Decorative print duct tape is much spendier, so save it for the outer later. All layers are structural, but having a core of 2 layers of silver and then making it completely covered with decorative tape to the point where no silver shows guarantees sufficient tape throughout.

Duct tape is very strong lengthwise, but is designed to tear. This is why multidirectional tape is a must in all places and finished edges are a must. Most fabrics are designed this way!

This required no sewing, no hardware, no scissors, no rulers. It is custom and fitted to us, but not “share-able” the way a full four-strap mei tai would be.

Combining duct tape and fabric is possible, but you need to pay attention to stresses and reinforcement.

Every time you wear a carrier, no matter what it is made from, you MUST check it for wear. A $20 duct tape carrier WILL wear out with use, duct tape is not designed to withstand constant flexing and friction, so you do need to check it every single time, especially at stress points.

I am more comfortable using a duct tape carrier on an older baby or toddler. For an infant I’d rather use a bedsheet. This is a good “In a pinch” carrier, but duct tape is not designed for babies to mouth. On a mei tai, you can “dress” the mei tai with a long sleeved shirt to protect baby from the tape, if you must.

These are really best for short term use, and in situations where you want to get people talking about babywearing. I took my first duct tape carrier to the SCA…

Feel-better Chai Pudding

An experiment worth repeating….

In a jar:
1/4 cup chia seed
1/8 cup coconut sugar
1/8 cup cocoa powder
1/8 cup maple syrup
1 teaspoon “power tea” (Power Tea is a mixture of organic spices including: Ceylon Cinnamon, Cloves, Ginger, Turmeric, Black Pepper and Cayenne Pepper., very chai-ish, LOTS of anti-inflammatory action.)
1 tablespoon elderberry syrup
1 cup almond milk or coconut water or raw milk or coconut milk or whatever.  I used a blend of almond milk and coconut water.

I actually tripled this recipe though had to short the milk a tiny bit to fit in a quart jar.
Stir well and let sit in the fridge for a couple hours.

It makes a spicy chocolate pudding that unlike refined-sugar-based desserts, actually leaves one feeling better. I’ve been fighting off the flu for a couple days, and I feel almost 100% after a bowl of this.

The cocoa, spices and elderberry all have good evidence for being medicinal. Also very tasty.

Ridesource

So we’ve been using Ridesource (special needs public transport) since December. While it does save me driving, it has been a MASSIVE hassle. Top on the list is child safety seats. Technically Shiny is allowed to ride with just a belt. In practice, the belts are too big. A low back booster makes it fit, but is not ideal because you’re not supposed to use a low-back booster with a lap belt. Her carseat weighs 20 pounds and is not a great fit on the bus because the seats are too small and it has too much movement with a lap-only belt and there’s no actual tether point for the top tether.

So today Shiny gets off the bus and the driver says, “By the way, the lap only belts don’t fit her well enough to keep her from moving around” (she’s made 3 trips this way and they’re only just now telling me this?) but I just put her in the kid seat in the back, and it fit perfectly and she stayed put.

WHAT KID SEAT IN THE BACK?

The one that one of the back seats breaks down into, that’s what. Which apparently NO ONE but THIS driver knew. 

So YAY, they have a built-in kid seat on the bus that works perfectly for her!

And GOOD LORD WHY DID THEY NOT USE THIS A MONTH AGO?

And I quote, “Every one of the buses has one.”

No, really, do NOT fucking touch my children without permission

Several people have said, “Oh, but touching his clothed foot wouldn’t likely spread flu”. Or “You shouldn’t have swatted that man’s hand away.” Or “You could have been more polite about it.”

One person even suggested that not letting people touch my children in public might create problems for my children in being touched as adults.

You know what? I was raised to know that my body was my own, and that if someone I didn’t know tried to touch me without permission, I was absolutely within my rights to yell, “No!” and leave.

That I didn’t have to be polite about it.

It was a good lesson to learn. Would have been even better if it had included that if people I did know tried to touch me without permission, I was STILL within my rights to yell, “No” and leave, but regardless, it served me very well with strangers.

I can name at least three times in my life where that lesson got me out of a situation that could easily have turned into severe molestation or rape, ONLY having been touched once in a way I didn’t like.

On one occasion, a man reached out and grabbed me–my crotch–when I was nine, and I pulled away and yelled no and then ran. He sounded so surprised I wouldn’t just let him. Makes me wonder how many girls did.

Another occasion, a friend’s makeout buddy reached out WHILE MAKING OUT WITH HER and grabbed my breast while I was trying to sleep. I yelled, “No!” and threw my clothes on and left.

On a third occasion a boy ran his hand up my leg because I had the audacity to wear nylons, and I told him to stop and when he got snippy I got the teacher. Who was an ass but that’s another story. I made it stop.

My child learns about loving, healthy touch and boundaries by being touched in appropriate ways by people who love him and by having his boundaries respected.

So yes, when people violate my son’s personal space and mine (the guy’s hands were inches from my chest, he had to put his hand between me and the cart to grab Miles’ foot, and he was not holding it gently, I had to use some pressure to push his hand away) I will respond reflexively by telling them “No” and pushing them away, and then leaving.

I will NEVER apologize for that reflex.

And that, my friends, is why you should not touch strangers’ children without permission.

Because doing so, you’re violating boundaries.

That, and because you really do not want to trigger a defensive reaction in someone who may be a survivor.

It doesn’t even have to be about the germs. Bodily autonomy is plenty reason enough.

He’s lucky I didn’t slug him.

Don’t touch my children in the grocery store

It’s happened several times now, the latest was this afternoon. I was in Trader Joe’s, and a man came up and started commenting about the fact that Miles was in his jammies. I said, as I often do, “Wouldn’t it be great to be two and be able to get away with wearing footie jammies everywhere?”

He laughed, and then reached out and grabbed one of Miles’ feet. My hand came down and batted his hand away, and I snapped, “Do not touch my child.”

He looked shocked, and said, huffily, “Lots of people like me being around their children.”

“I don’t mind people talking to my children,” I said. “I don’t allow strangers to touch them in the grocery store.”

He then said to Miles, “When you’re 18 you’ll be on your own.”

It was only after I walked away from him that I realized that this exact same man has approached us before and tried to put his hands on Miles and I blocked him then, too. It’s the fourth or fifth time something like that has happened in Trader Joe’s. Close spaces? Friendly atmosphere? Beats me. The others have been middle aged women.

Now, this guy was scruffy. Looked kind of like a bum. But I had ZERO problem with him talking to us… it was when he reached out to grab my kid’s foot that I went from friendly and chatty to snarling mama bear. I’ve snapped the same way at well dressed middle aged women.

Here’s the deal…

People may just be social. However, recent research shows that our behavior can, in some ways be governed by the pathogens we carry. People may be more likely to be spontaneously social when they are contagious but not yet symptomatic with influenza.

http://www.academia.edu/533848/Change_in_Human_Social_Behavior_in_Response_to_a_Common_Vaccine

There are a number of pathogens that can profoundly change the behavior of the host organism. Toxoplasmosis may have few obvious symptoms in adults…but can actually change behavior and personality in subtle and dangerous ways.

And of course there are those zombie ants, who get infected with a fungus that induces them to climb to exactly the right microclimate, latch on, and die, thus allowing the fungus to propagate.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/9953571/There-are-zombies-among-us.html

So when a nice older man or woman approaches my child and reaches out to touch them (why is it always the feet?) they may be a perfectly nice “auntie” being friendly and sociable…

Or they may be a zombie aunt.

(postscript: I did in fact get sick once, possibly this encounter, I don’t remember, but from one very like it. Fun times.)