Tell me it’s going to be okay.
Tell me that it’s possible for me not to break everything I touch.
How can I protect anyone if I can’t protect myself?
How much do I need to forgive?
How much do I need to be forgiven?
When do you just walk away?
What if you can’t walk?
Some days it feels like everyone thinks I’m being defensive when I just have a habit of over-explaining things
And some days I’m trying to defend myself and people think I’m attacking
Is the flaw me? Or them?
Is it really expected that I maintain every social grace I ever fought to intellectually learn because they did not come naturally on a day when it is a mystery whether I’ll be able to hold down my dinner? When the words make my stomach knot and I just want them to stop?
The bright light is the man I married, who wraps himself around me and understands and stands by me. But how long can I lean on him, when I am not strong enough to hold him up too?