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The questions

Tell me it’s going to be okay.

Tell me that it’s possible for me not to break everything I touch.

How can I protect anyone if I can’t protect myself?

How much do I need to forgive?

How much do I need to be forgiven?

When do you just walk away?

What if you can’t walk?

Some days it feels like everyone thinks I’m being defensive when I just have a habit of over-explaining things

And some days I’m trying to defend myself and people think I’m attacking

Is the flaw me? Or them?

Is it really expected that I maintain every social grace I ever fought to intellectually learn because they did not come naturally on a day when it is a mystery whether I’ll be able to hold down my dinner? When the words make my stomach knot and I just want them to stop?

The bright light is the man I married, who wraps himself around me and understands and stands by me. But how long can I lean on him, when I am not strong enough to hold him up too?

Published in Life


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