Oh Internets. Why?

People get so confused on the Internet. We grow up hearing that we have free speech in the US. What people don’t understand is that the Constitution does not allow the GOVERNMENT to restrict the right of people to speak freely in public. But just as you can’t expect to go into a library and speak loudly, and you can’t expect to go into a cafe and start shouting at people, you can’t expect to go into a topic-specific forum or group on the internet and start posting off topic and have people be happy about it, I don’t care how precious your cause is or how important. There are places to say these things. Facebook walls. Personal journals. Political discussion groups. Comment threads on RELEVANT news articles. But people go to moderated environments BECAUSE they are moderated. Because when you want to talk about diapers, or baby slings, or getting pregnant, or cooking, it’s really disconcerting and not fun if someone treats it like their own street corner and stands up on a soap box and starts yelling about dying children or a presidential election or the tragedy du jour.

And the response when someone gets moderated… I’ve been moderated myself, asked to remove something or post it elsewhere. The appropriate response? Apologize and do as asked. Sometimes a request will seem unreasonable. One board I have been on periodically gets hot under the collar when people post about any other forum, Facebook, or the rest of the internet. Post a link and you may have your account suspended. Enough of us didn’t like the rule that we…left. Went to another forum where we found the rules more to our liking. I still don’t understand why that forum wants to pretend the rest of the internet does not exist (the sharing of relevant links to the topics being discussed could get people banned, and it was a forum one had to pay to be part of) but hey, it’s their playground, their business, and as long as they’re not discriminating vs. specific individuals in their policies, they get to make their policies.

But many, many people get defensive when they get called out. They insist on their right to post whatever seems important to them, no matter how irrelevant to the situation. Yes, it is possible to be a patriotic, baby-loving, decent human being and NOT want to hear how someone had a house fire or someone else is being unjustly whatevered when one is in a group specifically devoted to the discussion of widgets. I like to compartmentalize things a bit. I get to know people in the context of babywearing, for example, I do NOT want to know that these people I adore are political idiots voting for the candidate I hate. If I’m on a group dedicated to getting good prices on household goods, it’s NOT the place I want to talk about homeless veterans. Politics and the public interest are important topics… but NOT THERE.

And the poor moderators. People are insane, you know. They get told “No, don’t do that here,” and suddenly it’s Nazi this and Communist that and friggin’ death threats.” To which I have this to say.

GET A GODDAMNED GRIP, PEOPLE. SHUT UP.  THOSE WORDS DO NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK THEY MEAN.

And the person you’re attacking? Is probably not getting paid for what they do. They’re human beings. With feelings. And families. And lives. And life is too short for that shit.

Before you open your mouth or wiggle your fingers to yell at a moderator… STOP. THINK. And when all else fails, follow Wheaton’s Law. Don’t know what that is? Here. I’ll help you. http://ruleoftheinternet.com

Extended breastfeeding

I mentioned that I’d nursed my first to age 6 and my second to age 2 1/2, and someone was impressed at how extended nursing was with #1. My answer:

Well, I didn’t set out that way but at age 2 I sat her down and said, “The world health organization says that you have a right to nurse until you’re two and for as long after that as we’re both happy. So you need to be nice to me and stop if I tell you I need to stop, and if you do that you can nurse as long as you want.” She sort of blinked at me and said, “Otay mommy”. So after that if she was getting rough I stopped her. If she was screwing around I stopped her. If I was cramping, I stopped her, and so I never felt like I was trapped nursing her, it was something she did to touch base and for comfort.

When she was 3 she went on a trip with her dad for a week and I assumed she’d be done when she came back, but no, she went right back to it. My milk was mostly gone though. Nursing got shorter and she got less and less milk.

When she was four, my doctor refused to prescribe medication for me unless I weaned (stupid, really, it was prozac and then zoloft, which would be FINE for a nursing 4 year old.) So i told her why we were stopping and she agreed. After two weeks, she sat ME down and said, “Mommy, your milk is all gone. And if anything did come out I’d stop nursing so I wouldn’t get the bad medicine. Can I please have my num nums back?”

I asked, “When are you going to wean then?” She answered, “When I’m six.”

So I let her nurse, and there were two occasions where she suddenly stopped and said, “Milk came out, I’ll stop so I won’t get the bad medicine.” Her nursing got less and less frequent to the point where by the time she was five, weeks would go by without her “touching base” that way… I’d ask, “are you weaned?” She’d say, “When I’m six.”

The night before she turned six, we were traveling, and she crawled into bed with me to snuggle. I said, “You’ll be six tomorrow. Are you ready to wean?”

She took about 3 sucks and then patted me and said, “I’m going to miss num nums.”

She never asked again.

There’s no magic light that goes off over their heads saying “too old”. It either works or it doesn’t and we find the way that makes sense for the given child and given situation.

With her younger sister, developmentally delayed with poor oral motor coordination and oral defensiveness, I got bitten a lot. Nursing was never, ever, ever easy. I fought through it and nursed her for 2 1/2 years, then had to wean her cold turkey because I had hit my limit on being able to tolerate the biting. She got a 6 month grace period on my “after age two…” policy, but I knew it was safer to wean her when I realized I was fighting tooth and nail to stop myself from flinging her across the room every time she bit me.

I doubt my son will nurse as long as his oldest sister, but I hope he nurses a bit longer than his middle sister. It’s hard to say. I don’t enjoy nursing him the way I did #1, but he’s certainly not as painful to nurse as #2 most of the time. But he’s never had a particularly fantastic latch due to a tongue tie that took a couple months to correct, so now that he has teeth I feel them a lot when he’s tired. If he can learn to cover them, he could nurse a very long time. But he’s absolutely enchanted with solid food, and has his dad around, so I’m not the absolute center the way I was with #1 as a single mom. He could surprise me and wean at 18 months, he loves food so.

Homemade Marshmallows, updated for 2012

People think marshmallows are complex, difficult things to make. “Jet puffed!” implies some magical thing that “marshmallows” sugar and gelatin into fluffy goodness.

Not so. Marshmallows are candy, and they require a strong mixer, but your average stand mixer will do the job just fine.  The only way you could “jet” marshmallows would be to use the engine as a mixer, I suppose. Really, like meringue or whipped cream, marshmallows depend on the incorporation of air into a matrix, in this case sugar and gelatin, beaten at high speed for about 11 minutes. Science is important with candy, and temperature is critical.

Work fast, work smart, and be prepared for things to be very, very sticky. Continue reading

Music makes everything better (a.k.a. Why I don’t hate Katy Perry)

Mornings are a struggle. This morning, something magic happened. Shiny went downstairs without me having to grab her by the ankle and slowly drag her down the stairs. Sound brutal? Well, she doesn’t like it but it gets her down safely, rather than up into her sister’s old room or into the bathroom with the medicines, and I physically cannot carry her with the baby on my back.

I asked her to show me she knew where downstairs was. She threw a book down the stairway. Then I said, “Okay, now go get it.”

She did. And then walked herself into the living room, where I rescued the book, and went to get her lunch and shoes.

Lunch in bag, shoes and socks were the next terrifying battle. Shiny has kicky feet. And when the shoes are on, hard kicky feet. Getting her shoes on is always a battle, as she loathes them, but they’re necessary for keeping her socks on long enough to get to the bus.

I started singing, the first catchy song that came to mind… You’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes and you’re no….

And a magical thing happened. She stopped fighting. She let me put her shoes on. I kept singing. She let me walk her to her wheelchair. We made it to the bus on time. And as I waved and signed our goodbyes, it occurred to me that I could probably sign 90% of that song.

Most of Katy Perry’s songs are actually written at a level which appeals very strongly to Shiny. She loves music, she loves opposites most of all. And I didn’t get kicked this time.

Cocoa water and cherry juice for coughs

Basic recipe (the TL:DR version!)

2 heaping tablespoons cocoa
Honey to taste (preferably raw!)
1 cup tart cherry juice (must be pure cherry, should be tart, use black cherry juice if you can’t find tart)
Water, seltzer or almond/rice/coconut milk to taste. NOT dairy milk (and I don’t ever recommend soy for anyone but that’s another post.)

Mix cocoa and honey into a paste.
Add a tiny bit of hot water and stir
Add a little more and stir.
Once it is thin enough to mix well, add the rest of whatever liquids you want. They can be hot liquids if you prefer. The cherry juice is not just for flavor, it helps pain.
Drink up to half right away. Sip the rest as needed.

For more discussion, look behind the cut.

Continue reading

Some things I love about babywearing

Babywearing lets me take my kids places I wouldn’t otherwise be willing or able to go. Shopping. The Panama Canal. Down the stairs at a week postpartum. But more than that, it spares me pain. The right carrier can be more comfortable in some circumstances than not holding the baby at all.

But more than that, babywearing is accessible. If you have a torso, you can babywear. You don’t have to be strong, or even able to walk, to babywear. You don’t have to birth a certain way, or feed your baby in a certain way, or go to a certain church, or parent according to a specific method. You don’t even have to be a parent to babywear–my foster son was worn by his childcare providers. My middle child and younger child have both been worn by their big sister.

Babywearing is not something that requires years of training. Give me a bedsheet and in 10 minutes I can turn someone into a babywearer. Give me a mei tai and it will take less than 5. It is possible to become an expert babywearer, but it is by no means necessary to be an expert to do it and do it well.

Babywearing does not require special or fancy tools. I’ve seen acceptable baby carriers made out of duct tape. Out of bedsheets. Out of clothing items. Towels. If you understand the underlying principles, you are never without a carrier (though you may need to be without a shirt to manage it. 😉 )

But most of all, babywearing puts the baby where the baby needs to be, while making the lives of everyone a little bit quieter, a little bit easier, and a little bit safer.

 

Oh, and for those who want to know how to turn a sheet into a sling, this is the sexy way to do it: http://youtu.be/YAWAk4svsl8

I just tied a knot and called it good, her method is adjustable.

International Babywearing Week

Babywearing International is thriving. This makes me very happy. When I began babywearing almost 19 1/2 years ago, there were no babywearing groups. A mom could go to a La Leche League meeting and meet other mothers who breastfed, and chances were good you’d see a few babies in padded ring slings or front packs, a wrap if you hit the hippie jackpot. I told my midwife I needed “a Snugli or something”.

She said, “No, you need a Baby Bundler.”

Shelley from Baby Bundler came out to my little duplex apartment and taught me how to do a basic front wrap cross carry, while I was pregnant. Two weeks after my daughter was born, I wrapped us up in the carrier and went to the grocery store. I nursed my baby in the wrap while grocery shopping, and that was the first moment I thought I might be getting the hang of the whole Mom thing. I was 21.

I wish I could say that I wrapped constantly. But the Bundler is wide, and thick, and it was summer and hot, and so wrapping was something that happened when I was desperate or just could not deal with the idea of the stroller on the bus. That was not the carrier that turned me into a babywearing evangelist.

When my daughter was 10 months old, she was about 25 pounds (having reached 24 pounds by 6 months old) and my arms were tired from carrying her all the time. She had not yet started crawling (though she did that month) and I felt like my left arm had locked into position lugging her pudgy self all over. New Native advertised their pouch as being simple, and they had a program to give carriers to low income moms. I was on welfare at the time, and she sent me a pouch.

It was too big, so I took it in about a foot to fit me better with a basting stitch. While I was doing so, I realized how simple the design was, and on a whim, turned my Baby Bundler into two pouches. The stretchy fabric combined with the simple shape was a dream come true, and I wore the heck out of those grape-colored pouches as my daughter went through her “up down” crawling stage.

But that’s not what turned me into a babywearing evangelist.

As part of working my way off of welfare, I was getting training as a doula and childbirth educator. Through a series of roundabout events, this resulted in me being in the home of a young mama who was struggling with a high-needs infant. She said, as I helped clean her house, “I’ve been living on Ramen, because I can make it with one hand and don’t have to put him down. I had a dream that I tied him on me with a bedsheet, at the corners, like an arm sling.”

A lightbulb went off, and I said, “No, you wouldn’t do it like that. Do you have an extra flat sheet?” She handed me one, and I folded it the long way, and the long way again, and wrapped it around her and her baby, and tied it at the shoulder snug… she pulled her arm away slowly and nearly burst into tears.

“I can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!” she exclaimed. “I have two hands free!”

THAT turned me into a babywearing evangelist. The very idea that a simple bedsheet could be tied without fuss to make an instant sling? It felt revolutionary.

Not terribly long after that, I attended a Midwifery Today conference. I brought along a very old, striped purple-and-white bedsheet. It had been given to my parents as a wedding present, I believe, so it was older than I was. I got up at the Tricks of the Trade circle, asked for a volunteer mama, and showed the midwives my sheet-as-sling.

It was one of the conferences where Jan Tritten had brought in traditional midwives from all over. We had Inuit midwives, Mexican midwives, and Japanese midwives, plus other midwives from around the world. One of the midwives from Alaska said, “Let me show you how we do it!” and helped the mama put her baby high on her back in a basic rucksack hold, using the bedsheet on the diagonal with the tail hanging down, tied under the bum. It looked warm, secure, and easy.

The Japanese midwife stepped forward and said, “Oh, we do the same thing, but it’s hotter where we are, so do this first…” and she proceeded to roll the sheet on the diagonal and showed us a basic strap rucksack carry.

The Mexican midwife stepped forward, waved off my purple sheet, and said, “I brought my own.” She unwrapped the rebozo from her shoulders and showed us a couple of quick ties, then said, “But you don’t even need knots.” She took the baby from our volunteer mama and wrapped and tucked the rebozo around the both of them, and then brought her arms away… we gasped, but the baby stayed snugly on her front. It’s still not a carry I teach to mamas, but it was very dramatic and fast.

It was amazing. Breathtaking. I left the conference inspired… but the other emotion I felt was a surprising amount of anger. Not at the wonderful midwives who’d shared these amazing carries with us… but at a society that would allow such techniques to be lost. Why had I not grown up tying my teddy bears to me? Why did not every child grow up knowing that if you had something heavy, a piece of cloth could help you carry it? All the special bags and gadgets in the world would not make up for the loss of that simple knowledge.

THAT, too, helped turn me into a babywearing evangelist. I went to work for Midwifery Today later that year, and as part of that job, ended up reviewing almost every carrier on the market at the time. I sewed stretchy interlock pouches for friends and doula clients, and taught everyone who would hold still for it that if they ever needed a carrier, a bedsheet would do in a pinch.

In 2000, I think it was, I sewed my first ring sling, and the MamaBaby was born. In 2003, I tried my first mei tai. In 2003, babywearing exploded, the mei tai revolution and good soft structured carriers combined with thebabywearer.com to bring babywearers together at ever increasing rates. Babywearing groups started to form independently, and Vijay Owens sat me down and said, “We need an international organization.”

I said, “Yes, and this is what it would look like.” We brainstormed and developed the ideas that would become NINO, (Nine In, Nine Out).

My second child was born in 2005, and the number of carriers sent to me was breathtaking. I sewed mei tais and even a buckle pack, and tried everything I could get my hands on.

By 2006 there were NINO groups all over the world, and I ran the first International Babywearing Conference in Portland, Oregon. People asked, “Why would we travel all that way to talk about slings?” Then they came to the conference and did not ask that question anymore.

NINO ended in 2007, but the need had been demonstrated, and Babywearing International was organized by others. Another conference was organized, and I planned to attend, but in 2008, just weeks before the conference, I nearly died from a pulmonary embolism. Flying was out of the question, let alone traveling with my special needs 3 year old.

I drifted away from babywearing for a couple of years, not having the energy to carry Shiny (my middle child), the local group faded as our babies aged out of babywearing.

In 2011, I was pregnant again with my last child. And decided to see what was going on in babywearing. A new group of mamas were starting to get together in my town, and were thinking about making an official group.

In 2012, my son was born, and I am again a babywearer. It is more important to me than ever, as I have fibromyalgia and a special needs 7 year old and I cannot get done what I need to get done without it. My firstborn is in college now, so every morning I strap my son to my back, get my daughter ready and take her to the bus. Every afternoon I strap him to my back and we pick her up from the bus, then I wear him while I shop with both kids. One of her more minor diagnoses is cerebral palsy–she walks, but it is difficult for her over long distances, so I need to put her in the cart. They don’t make a tandem stroller I can lift in and out of the car that would support her weight and his, so he rides on my back in stores.

Because of babywearing, I almost always have two hands free. And that, at the heart of it, is why babywearing is important. Not for some higher ideal of attachment parenting, but because it is essential to helping parents function.

I can make a sandwich. I can take my school-aged child to the bus. It’s that simple.

Breastfeeding and slow-to-gain babies

A mama with a newborn with gain issues and possible tongue tie asked for breastfeeding advice. Here’s what I said.

It took us 2 1/2 months to get properly diagnosed and treated for Miles deep posterior tongue tie. I STRONGLY recommend you search for and join the Tongue Tie Babies group on Facebook, ask questions there and go to a practitioner who believes posterior tongue tie exists. It is a stupidly simple thing to fix with a trained practitioner (minutes, literally) but many people simply do not understand it who should. Those who understand it become evangelists about fixing tongue tie.

IN THE MEAN TIME… The first and most important thing to do is to feed the baby. A close second is to get your supply up.

Now, you say baby lost weight precipitously in the first three days. If you have any sort of IV fluids, however, this is VERY NORMAL. Many caregivers do not even recommend counting weight from birth, but from the 3-day-post-birth low. Being told your baby has lost weight on day 3 is like being told the sun came up in the morning. Shiny had lost 1 pound by day 5… but if you look at her birth pictures, she was VERY swollen when born, probably due to her chromosome issue. Miles lost 13 ounces in 3 days and my midwife did not even blink. We did not give formula in either case.

The best thing you can do to get your supply up is empty your breast as often and completely as possible. Get a good pump, your insurance will probably pay for it. If not, there are plenty of ways of getting one, including rental if you can’t pay $200 up front. Pump on one side while nursing on the other. Get a hands-free bra. Whenever you pump, massage the breast, milking toward the nipple. It takes some practice to learn to do this without breaking suction. When you’re nursing, massage. I cant’ stress this enough. All the teas and tinctures and drugs in the world cannot compare to stimulating and emptying the breasts well and thoroughly, often, and at 10 days your supply is in NO WAY a done deed. Right now your milk supply should be hormonally driven, and you’ve got a couple MONTHS to really fix things.

So, what’s a girl to do? As a mom who has dealt with a lot of crappy nursing situations, here’s what I strongly recommend:

1. GET GOOD HELP. You need a lactation consultant who is both experienced with posterior tongue tie and knows where to send you to get it fixed. You need either a chiropractor or a craniosacral therapist to work on the baby, and you need to get any tongue tie addressed.

2. Whenever you feed formula, spend some time pumping. You need to tell your body how much milk to make, and the more empty you keep your breasts, the more milk you will make.

3. Practice hand expression. Find what works best to make the milk squirt the most, and then do that while your baby is nursing. I have successfully fed two babies with bad latches simply by milking my breast into their mouths at every damn feed. It is hell. But in both cases, the babies DID in fact gain sufficiently and learn to nurse despite huge hurdles (neurological in one, tongue tie in the other).

4. Consider getting a scale. Weigh baby, dressed, before a feed. Without changing the diaper, weigh baby after the feed. You’ll get a feel for how much your kiddo is getting, and how much you need to pump (or how much formula you need to give.) MOST caregivers when faced with a baby losing, will say “Give 2 ounces after every feed.” THIS IS WRONG AND WILL KILL YOUR SUPPLY. In no case is it possible to say “Give 2 ounces after every feed” unless baby is continuing to lose weight day after day at a rate of at least an ounce a day. In most cases, a baby will only need about a half ounce or so after each feed.

5. Spend a lot of time skin to skin in bed with baby. Get as much help as you can and expect that you’re going to spend the next couple weeks figuring this out. It may take a month or two. Rearrange your life if you possible can to allow you as much rest and baby time as humanly possible. The more you get now, the easier things will be in the long run.

Fan Fiction

So, I write. Can’t help it, it just happens. Most of what I write is nonfiction, but every once in a while I get bitten by a bug and have to write a story down. This may happen a couple of times with a brief idea while watching a show I like. Or I may get bitten by an alternate way things could have gone, something that might have happened had the show writers not been constrained by their formula, by the hour-a-week, by the network rules.

When I write fan fiction, there is less “making up a story” and more “grabbing the tail of the muse” as she storms into my life and then hanging on for dear life for the ride. If we’re lucky, the story gets finished. If we’re not, it doesn’t. I usually have a policy of not sharing with other than beta readers until it’s done.

Continue reading

Never be afraid to ask Google

So I’m no networking expert, but I know enough about using search engines that I was able to find instructions on how to turn a router into a wireless access point, months ago. Today I managed to set up a third router on our network. We have a rambling huge house (3000 square feet) with a cottage across the back deck. There are two huge junction boxes that used to be breaker boxes, two breaker boxes, and the various electronics and electrics involved in tying our solar panels into the electrical grid between the house and the cottage. And the wiring in the house ranges from almost brand new to many decades old. Needless to say there is some terrible interference and things that work brilliantly at one end of the house don’t necessary work at all at the other end.
Continue reading

Cloth diapering

In response to the chemical plant explosion that took out 1/5 of the world’s SAP production and is sending diapering mamas into a hording tizzy…

I swore I wasn’t going to use cloth this time. But when my son hit about 4 months old, every disposable brand we tried either gave him a rash or leaked at every single poop, and I got so fed up with the extra laundry (and poop stains on his cute clothes) that I switched to cloth. I haven’t looked back. The inexpensive cloth pocket diapers I get on co-op (or direct from the manufacturer) are SO much more effective, and with one-size covers, SO much cheaper. These are not my mom’s cloth diapers. They are as far from the pins and pull up pants I used with my sister (in the 80’s) and eldest child (19 years ago) that they’re almost unrecognizable. The laundry is no more unpleasant than the clothes with the poop on them I was dealing with all the time. We have fewer rashes now that our laundry routine is set. And they’re about a million times cuter. This is probably the best time in history to switch to cloth!

Continue reading