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Jenrose Posts

The questions

Tell me it’s going to be okay. Tell me that it’s possible for me not to break everything I touch. How can I protect anyone if I can’t protect myself? How much do I need to forgive? How much do I need to be forgiven?…

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no more shots

On to a new oral drug. lefluf something, IDK, i’m not allergic to it and it’s making me a little tired but not poisoned. And many more steroids. I’m not going on LJ anymore. Everything’s on Dreamwidth (jenrose) and here, and I’m on Tumblr.  

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Just a little poison

Sometimes it’s really hard to write about other people’s happy times when it reminds me of when I was strong and thought I could do almost anything.

Sometimes it’s an escape, but sometimes it’s just a really rough reminder of how hard I’m struggling right now.

The true answer to “How are you” behind the cut. It ain’t pretty.

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WIPS and turning 45

It’s my 45th birthday today, and thus time to take stock in what I’ve been doing and what I’m working on this year. Since January of 2016, I have written more than 360,000 words of fiction. This does not include blog posts, lengthy essays or…

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On dealing with criticism and pattern arguments

Someone on tumblr suggested that it was not ideal to answer criticism with “I’m a terrible person.” Someone else said, “But I say that because I feel that badly about myself.” Someone else suggested that was still manipulative and not a good thing to do. 

Okay, life lesson time (or, “How to accept criticism like a rational adult and avoid pattern arguments when other people pull this nonsense.”)

When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I kept getting involved with people who would say, “Oh, I’m a bad person” any time I brought up ANYTHING that was the least bit of a disagreement.

Like, “Please don’t leave my X on the floor” would get, “Oh, I’m a horrible person!”

HERE’S WHY THIS IS A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR, and if you think I’m calling you out and you think you’re about to shut down, take a breath, remember that this is about learning, and keep reading.

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image says: NOW IS THE TIME that we cling together * for comfort and safety and hold each other * so that no one falls * or is lost tell me if you’re slipping * i’ve got two hands and a million words  

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Ice

The world feels fragile and cold right now. There is a slick of ice coating every blade of grass, every rose branch, the grape arbor and the wisteria vines. The tomato cages look like clear white neon tubes in a glass garden, one lonely tomato…

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the black square

About the black square… I looked at my profile pic on Facebook, on Tumblr, on my website—the best recent picture of me, smiling, and hopeful—and I didn’t feel it. I thought about the young trans people who committed suicide last night, convinced they’d never be…

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Realizations

Realizations that made life easier this year. I don’t have to want what society tells me that people it thinks I’m like should want. It sucked being young, thin, and “pretty/passing” and while it is tiring being middle aged, fat, and disabled, a lot of…

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Understanding Gender: A Guide for Kids

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When a baby is born, the first thing everyone wants to know is, “Is it a boy or a girl?” Even during pregnancy, parents often have an ultrasound scan, to look at a baby’s body and find out whether their baby has “boy parts” or “girl parts” before the child is born.

But what defines “boy” or “girl” doesn’t have a lot to do with the parts people have. Different groups of people define what it means to be male or female in many different ways. And people get messages from a lot of places about what it means to be male or female. The very idea that there are only male and female to choose from is not the same everywhere. Some cultures expect there to be three, five, or even more genders.

So what happens when someone tells you “boys are like this” or “girls are like that?” and “this and that” don’t seem to match up well to who you are? There are a lot of different ways that people respond to this feeling.

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